Tag Archives: elangeni hotel

See ya, 2014.

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HAPPY GADAMN NEW YEARS! As per tradition, I like to do a little roundup of the year that was. Here are some of Girl With A Bum’s 2014 moments – the ups and the downs.

I kicked off 2014 with a champagne bottle to the head and 7 stitches for good measure. 

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I started a new job at a kick-ass digital agency. Then changed jobs again to go corporate like a real sell-out.

I began dating a rad guy. Then that rad guy and I decided to part ways. Only good vibes there. 

I saw one of my oldest friends walk down the aisle. And cried like a baby.

Got my nose pierced and my foot tatted. And cried like a baby.

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imageAnother year of saying hello and goodbye to new house mates. And seeing a Facebook feed brimming with engagements and pregnancies.

Did a fair share of dranking, smoking, dancing and late nights. 

Drank a LOT of Steph Weiss while I was at it.

imageHad a few epic weekends – staying at the Elangeni Hotel, Midlands meandering, missioning to Mantis and Moon, tanning in Umdloti and dancing at Rainbow Jazz Lounge.

Got sucked into Neknoms, Ice Bucket Challenges and “No Make-up Selfies” like I did Bitstrips in 2013. Can’t help it, occasionally I follow the crowd.

My hair went from long to short, to blonde to purple to grey to brunette again.

Continued blogging while laughing that the acronym for my blog is GWAB.

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Adopted my baby Church.

Festivaled it UP at Ramfest, Kendrick Lamar, OppiKoppi and Parklife.

Took up swimming for a few brief, yet glorious months.

Wrote an article about my spirit guide, Ewok.

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Found out that a beloved “internet friend of mine who had tragically died of cancer” – was actually all a Catfish by a crazy, crazy girl. Rallied up a group of other girls affected by the scam. (More coming soon!)

Got a personal trainer with Boss Lady Lauren. Man, those 5am wake up calls!

Had a local newspaper steal my content and publish it without my permission. Went through a series of arguments and fights, only to be further let down by some really awful people.

Was lucky enough to be a bridesmaid for a beautiful friend of mine

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My body briefly gave up on me and I was in and out of the docs for blood tests and medicines. Then I got better because I am strong like Mother Russia.

My mommy got very, very sick and retrenched but bounced back because she IS Mother Russia. 

We found a lovely home for our beloved piggy, Molly.

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We said our final goodbyes to our family home as well as my awesome digs. I then said hello to my dream flat.

I said another very hard goodbye to my second mom/domestic executive of 18 years as she retired to her home in the Berg.

Lived through a teeny tiny earth tremor and the MRP Tear Gas Incident ‘14.

Went to, and fell in love with the Transkei for the very first time.

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Learnt how to NaeNae. Sort of. 

Sold some shiz at a market. Promised myself “never again”.

Fell irrevocably in lust with Black Math. 

Wore a sari to Halloween, for no good reason. Thus beginning a casual chain of events.

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Lost tragically and suddenly, my very beautiful aunt. 

Saw dear friends leave for Dublin, Jozi, Amsterdam and Germany. More goddam goodbyes. Made some pretty epic new friends too.

Turned well old – hello 25!

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So, plans for 2015?

Travel in the slow lane (occasionally)

Travel, in general.

Love deeply.

Eat thirds.

STAYCATION!

Well, dear readers, I feel this is ample timing to let you know that there is a new guy in my life. I’m sorry that I kept this from you for so long and I hope we can move past this. It wasn’t lying, it was merely omission. 

Anyways, said guy took me on a weekend staycation to the Elangeni Hotel along our rather magnificent beachfront with the promise of acting like tourists for the weekend. This sounded relatively fun but I had no idea just how rad this trip “away” in our own back yard would turn out to be.

We checked in on Friday and felt like real ballers in this beautiful hotel, getting greeted like celebs and having a rather game-changing breakfast buffet at our disposal. Hotel living comes with all the perks – huge showers, fluffy white towels and 28 stories up – a breathtaking view. I also got to speak really loudly in a foreign accent like I was Paul’s mail-order bride. I enjoyed that a lot. 

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We headed out to an authentic Japanese restaurant called Daruma for a dinner of sushi and teppenyaki. After somehow managing to get rather on our ear there, we returned to our plush hotel room for yet another bottle of wine, while we watched the lightening over our city.

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Blackout curtains allowed for us to sleep in on Saturday (and by sleep in, I mean until 7am). After embarrassing ourselves at the breakfast buffet and giving up our “classy hotel guest” personas, we rented bikes and cycled along the promenade, grabbed a cold one at Wahooz and cycled back again. This tiresome activity warranted a swim and a beer in the rooftop pool. #howyoulivinguuurrrl?

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Paul then took me to this amazing Hare Krishna cafe for my favourite type of vegetarian food before we headed out for a photo mission in the Sunken Gardens outside our hotel. This was followed by drinks at a seedy pub ironically called The Londoner (nothing Londonish about it WHATSOEVER) to catch the last few minutes of Nigeria vs. Morocco. Naturally we had to risk our lives on the cable cars next – which stopped for a few minutes while we were at the very top before jolting violently into motion again. The near death experience brought out the YOLO in me so we went to stare death in the face yet again on the bumper cars before a dinner of pizza and cocktails at the Blue Dolphin.

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Sunday treated us to amazing weather so we spent the last day of our staycation, longboarding along the Golden Mile, swimming in the ocean and sipping Pina Coladas at Moyo.

I really do love my city.

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